~ How do you throw away a garbage can?
~ Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A?
~ Why do old men have hair in their ears?
~ Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts?
~ Why are things typed up but written down?
~ Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
~ If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
~ If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
~ What does OK actually mean?
~ What does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
~ Why do we feel blue? And what color does a Smurf feel when they are down?
~ Why do donuts have holes?
~ Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other?
~ Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?
~ If you're born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
~ If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
~ If one man says, "It was an uphill battle," and another says, "It went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
~ Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
~ Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
~ How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
~ Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when the letters L or B aren't even in the word pound?
--Selected from Mikey's Funnies.
* * * * * * *
Thanks for the cybersalt award, Pastor Tim . . . 
. . . Visit Pastor Tim's great CleanLaugh site!
* * * * * * *
"You'll Find Jesus There!"
"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open up your heart..."
"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted.
The surgeon looked up, annoyed. "I'll cut your heart open," he continued,
"to see how much damage has been done..."
"But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there."
The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat quietly. "When I see how much
damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up and I'll plan
what to do next."
"But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The
hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart."
The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart.
I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And I'll
find out if I can make you well."
"You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there."
The surgeon left.
After the surgery, the surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from
the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle
degeneration. No hope for transplant, no hope for cure. Therapy:
painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis:," here he paused, "death within one
year."
He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said.
"Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put him here; You've
put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"
The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock
for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be. Here, in My
flock, he will feel no pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine.
His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and My
flock will continue to grow."
The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that
boy, and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"
The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for he has
done his duty: I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to
retrieve another lost lamb."
The surgeon wept.
The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him.
The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?"
"Yes," said the surgeon.
"What did you find?" asked the boy.
"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon.
--Author unknown
--Selected from Pastor Tim's Illustrations.
