If you know the Bible -- even a little -- you'll find this
hilarious!
This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked
questions about the Old and New Testaments.
The following statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected
(i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in).
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired
of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife
was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals
come on to in pears.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a
Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards,
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told adam to eat the
apple.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led
the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his
son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he
fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in
Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they
found Jesus in the manager.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12
decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a
taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
--Unknown; found circulating in email.
