10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit,the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE IN FOR A LONG SUNDAY SERMON

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only July!

--Author unknown; found circulating the Net via email.

I paused last night on my porch to look at a garden spider weaving her web.

I watched as she gently yet expertly wove the suspension lines and the lines which would entrap any insects unwary enough to wander into the gossamer threads. She spent a great deal of time making sure everything was perfect before centering herself in the middle of her work.

By morning, as the sun began to creep over the horizon, this spider moves to the fringes of her web, so carefully constructed the night before and snips the supporting lines to let it fall to the ground. She repeats this every day until the end of her life.

The spider does not try to hold on to each day's work. Instead, she lets it fall away so that she may build anew each and every day.

We should heed her lesson in our lives. Our past failures should not be dwelled on so that we can make room for the new opportunities of success. Each new day brings with it renewed hope that where we failed yesterday, we will succeed today.

--Author Unknown. Found circulating the Net in e-mail.

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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.

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