A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While
facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it
went, step,step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As
you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the
time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense
of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father
picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way
out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called
loudly to
the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the
way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly
tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a
little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If
he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the
back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers.
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo, while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*********************************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not
take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines
from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride
as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the
prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen."
--Found circulating the Net via email.
"Christmas Love"
Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience.
I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing,
endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found
myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and
of course, the true meaning of Christmas.
My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting
season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his
school's "Winter Pageant." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be
working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining
moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress
rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend
that evening were welcome to come
then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.
So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early,
found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw
several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited,
the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their
teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one,
rose to perform their song.
Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the
holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial
entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good
cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was
slightly taken aback by its bold title.
Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens,
red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front
row - center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the
title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child
would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child
holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."
The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a
small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down -
totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience of 1st
through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had
no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W".
Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: "CHRISTWAS LOVE" And, I believe, He still is.
--Copyright 1999, Candy Chand. Used by permission.
Today's Bible Reading - One Year Bible Online
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 