1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty
of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you
concentrate.
4. Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend
from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can
both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your
friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those
irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in
a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth
grade. You'd better write that letter now, that ways you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, I really mean
it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that ~~
10. Listen to the other side.
11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.
12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing
yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the
university, and the world at large.
13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place
with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue;
savor its special flavor.
15. Check the TV Guide to make sure you aren't missing something truly
worthwhile on TV (like Monday Night Football).
NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from
Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile, with
these exceptions:
a) Pro Bowler's Tour
b) Any movie starring Don Ameche.
16. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26.
17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss
the finer points of the plot, even if he wasn't watching.
18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who
everyone is.
20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
21. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious,
trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place
with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.
24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
26. Leap up and write the paper.
27. Type the paper in your computer. Spell check.
28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to
write that stupid term paper.
--Author unknown. Selected from Mikey's Funnies.
1. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things:
a. Is it true?
b. Is it kind?
c. Is it necessary?
2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully.
3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.
4. Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip.
5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.
6. Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)
7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse.
8. Let your virtues speak for themselves.
9. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark.
10. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
11. Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; do not seek so much to be loved as to love.
--Author unknown. Found circulating in email.
