As the daily recipient of massive amounts of e-mail hoaxes and myths, I occasionally crusade against such nonsense. (And sometimes I'm even suckered by them.) When I received the Funny below, I took that as a message to step back up on the soapbox.
If you happen to be one of the 14 people in the world that doesn't receive a massive amount of Spam, you may not understand this Funny. If you don't get it, just toss it.
But before you do, lemme say that e-mail hoaxes are rampant. Get informed! Here are some great resources to point folks to when they send you the 168th copy of the missing kidneys story:
~ For info on CHAIN LETTERS, check out U.S. Postal Service's Web site:
Or this great description of chain letters.
~ For info on Urban Legends Reference Pages: Truth or Fiction.
~ For info on VIRUS HOAXES, check out:
Computer Virus Myths . . .
AntiVirus Research Center.
Now stepping off the box.
Mikey
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--- WARNING, DANGER! ---
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from the trauma of his friend's aunt who took her kids to a Burger King restaurant in a major city and they all got bit by snakes in the ball pit. Anyway, he decided to forget his troubles by having a few stiff drinks at Mulligans, and the next thing he awoke in a hotel bathtub full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he saw a note on the mirror saying that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN by Bill Gates, and he could only get them back by dialing 9-0-# and forwarding 5000 emails to a dying girl at Disney World.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! My uncle's friend heard this story from his neighbor who got it from a guy named Craig Shergold who used to work for the American Cancer Society in a major city.
Well the poor guy immediately tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but upon reaching into the coin-return slot, he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "JOIN THE CREW". He was so distraught at this point that he went into the nearest theater and bought a ticket. It was then that he felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder blade. The people behind him got up laughing and tossed a wadded-up paper ball at him as they ran out. When he uncrumpled the paper, it said "WIN A HOLIDAY" and was signed by Jessica Mydek.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! I have a friend who works next door to the police department of a major city and he heard it from his elderly aunt.
The poor man, having no kidneys and infected with a dread disease, stumbled into a nearby Neiman Marcus cafe and ordered a plate of cookies. He asked for the recipe and was told that it would cost "two fifty." When he received his bill, there was a charge for 250 dollars! Furious, he fired up his laptop and sent an email to his lawyer. It was then that he noticed his Palm Pilot was infected by the Budweiser screen saver virus. A "flashing IM" appeared on his AOL screen, and without thinking, he clicked on it. Instantly, hackers stole his password and began downloading salacious photos of Nina Tottenberg onto his hard drive.
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation in a major city. His arm was bleeding badly, but he was able to make it into the mall parking lot. Just at that moment, he saw two guys with black hoods stuffing his wife into a van. Apparently they had told the woman there was a dying baby in the parking lot and asked for her help.
THIS IS NOT A CHAIN LETTER!!! Please forward this urgent message to every one you can, and spread the news that the Make-A-Wish foundation will donate a pair of Nike sneakers to everyone at Disney World, but only if you send it to 1000 people. Don't be a thoughtless jerk - it only takes a minute of your time to spread this chain letter, and it could be true!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey's Thot for the Day:
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Selected from: MIKEY'S FUNNIES, brought to you by Mike Atkinson @ Youth Specialties.
* * * * * * *
"The Secret!"
A woman named Vicki once knew a young person at church named Susan.
Susan always seemed effervescent and happy, although Vicki knew she
had faced struggles in her life. Her long-awaited marriage had quickly
ended in divorce.
Vicki had struggled to get a grip on her single life. She
hadn't chosen it, but she decided she would
live it with utmost enjoyment and satisfaction. Susan was active in Sunday
school, in the choir, as a leader of the junior high girls' group,
and in the church renewal movement. Vicki enjoyed knowing Susan.
Susan's whole face seemed to smile.
One day Vicki asked Susan, "How is it that you are always so happy,
you have so much energy, and you never seem to get down?"
With her eyes smiling, Susan said,"I know the Secret!"
"What secret is that?"
"What are you talking about?" Vicki asked.
Susan replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise
to share the Secret with others."
Vicki agreed, "Okay, now what is it?"
The Secret is this: "I have learned there is little I can do in my
life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make
me happy and meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have
to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most
of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. HE has never let me
down." Since I learned that Secret I am happy.
Vicki's first thought was, That's too simple! But upon reflecting
over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would
make her happy -but it didn't! She thought a better-paying job would
make her happy -but it hadn't. When did she realize her greatest
happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing
games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.
Susan knew the secret, Vicki learned the secret, and now you
know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His
wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!
--Author unknown.
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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