Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential
that we complete this declaration of independence.
Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.
Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Has
everyone had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?
Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replication
problems.
Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy.
Mr. Sherman: Thanks. Saaaaay, nice font.
Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just
last week.
Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our
document will soon leak out.
Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a bootleg
circulating. I saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.com last night.
Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved
that problem for me.
Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretended
Legislation; have you considered using bullets to air out the text?
Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I've spilled
candle wax on my keyboard again.
Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn't happen if you'd buy an
active-matrix screen.
Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy!
Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it's "unalienable rights"? My spell
checker recommends "unassailable".
Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the document,
please? Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare power cable?
Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine isn't
compatible.
Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean when the
floppy drive buzzes? OK, I'll hold.....
Mr. Livingston: The "In Congress" part here at the top; have you
thought about blowing that up really big and maybe centering it in
72 point Helvetica?
Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro virus! I can't
save the file.
Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow
my quill pen....
--Selected from The Good, Clean Funnies List
For the red, white & blue:
A short history lesson, and a good one about life. Read both of
these, they're very good... and the second has an interesting conclusion!
World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant
Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to an
aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.
One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was
airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had
forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to
complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader
told him to return to the carrier.
Reluctantly he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.
As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his
blood cold. A squadron of Japanese bombers were speeding their way
toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie and
the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and
bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor, could he warn the fleet of
the
approaching danger.
There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the
fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the
formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged
in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch
weaved in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as
possible until finally all his ammunition was spent. Undaunted, he
continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to at least clip
off a wing or tail, in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as
possible and rendering them unfit to fly.
He was desperate to do anything he could to keep them from reaching
the American ships. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off
in another direction.
Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped
back to the carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the
event surrounding his return. The film from the camera mounted on his plane
told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt top protect
his fleet. He had destroyed five enemy bombers.
That was on February 20, 1942, and for that action he became the
Navy's first Ace of W.W.II and the first Naval Aviator to win the
Congressional Medal of Honor.
A year later he was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His
home town would not allow the memory of that heroic action die. And today,
O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this
great man.
So the next time you're in O'Hare visit his memorial with his statue
and Medal of Honor. It is located between terminal 1 and 2.
-----------------
Story number two:
Some years earlier there was a man in Chicago called Easy Eddie. At
that time, Al Capone virtually owned the city. Capone wasn't famous for
anything heroic. His exploits were anything but praiseworthy. He was,
however, notorious for enmeshing the city of Chicago in everything
from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder. Easy Eddie was Capone's
lawyer and for a good reason. He was very good! In fact, his skill
at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his
appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big;
Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a
fenced in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of
the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago city block.
Yes, Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little
consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.
Eddy did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved
dearly. Eddy saw to it that his young son had the best of everything;
clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no
object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried
to teach him right from wrong. Yes, Eddie tried to teach his son to rise above
his own sordid life.
He wanted him to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his
wealth and influence, there were two things that Eddie couldn't give his
son. Two things that Eddie sacrificed to the Capone mob that he could not
pass on to his beloved son: a good name and a good example. One day,
Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Offering his son a good name
was far more important than all the riches he could lavish on him. He
had to rectify all the wrong that he had done. He would go to the
authorities and tell the truth about Scar-face Al Capone. He would try
to clean up his tarnished name and offer his son some semblance of
integrity.
To do this he must testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost
would be great. But more than anything, he wanted to be an example
to his son. He wanted to do his best to make restoration and hopefully
have a good name to leave his son. So, he testified. Within the year,
Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago street.
He had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer at the greatest
price he would ever pay.
What do these two stories have to do with one another?
Well, you see, Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.
--Author Unknown.
--From Mikey's Funnies.
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