- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile", she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
--Selected from Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh List.
"I don't think we're going to get out of this thing. I'm going to have
to go out on faith."
It was the voice of Todd Beamer, the passenger -- and Wheaton College
graduate -- who said "Let's roll" as he led the charge against the
terrorists who had hijacked United Flight 93, the one, you will
remember, that crashed in the Pennsylvania countryside.
The whole world knows how brave Beamer and his fellow passengers were on
September 11. But this week we learned more fully what buttressed that
bravery: Faith in Jesus Christ. Todd died as he lived, a faithful
evangelical believer.
In an article titled "The Real Story of Flight 93," Newsweek reveals
gripping new details from the actual transcripts of the now-recovered
cockpit voice recorder. "Todd had been afraid," Newsweek relates. "More
than once, he cried out for his Savior."
After passengers were herded to the back of the jet, Beamer called the
GTE Customer Center in Oakbrook, Illinois. He told supervisor Lisa
Jefferson about the hijacking. The passengers were planning to jump the
terrorists, he said. And then he asked her to pray with him.
As Newsweek relates, "Beamer kept a Lord's Prayer bookmark in his Tom
Clancy novel, but he didn't need any prompting. He began to recite the
ancient litany, and Jefferson joined him: "Our Father which art in
heaven, Hallowed be thy name."
As they finished, Beamer added, "Jesus, help me." And then, Beamer and
his fellow passengers prayed a prayer that has comforted millions down
through he centuries -- the prayer that David wrote in a time of great
anguish: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want . . . Yea, though I
walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
And then the famous last words: "Are you guys ready? Let's roll."
We now know from the cockpit voice recorder that Beamer and other
passengers wrestled with the hijackers and forced the plane to crash
into the ground, killing themselves but foiling what was believed to
have been the hijackers' plan to fly Flight 93 into the Capitol or the
White House.
As Christians, we know that God can bring good out of evil. In Todd
Beamer, the world witnesses a faith that held up in the extremity of
fear. A faith that is even now comforting his widow and two young sons.
Lisa Beamer told NBC's Dateline, "You know, in the Lord's Prayer, it
asks us to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass
against us." As Todd prayed this prayer in the last moments of his life,
in a way, Lisa said, "He was forgiving those people for what they were
doing, the most horrible thing you could ever do to someone."
It wasn't Todd Beamer's job to fight terrorists. He was just a passenger
who along with several others did what he didn't have to do but foiled a
terrible evil that might have been done to his country.
As Flight 93 hurtled towards destruction, Todd Beamer could not have
known that his quiet prayers would ultimately be heard by millions --
that the story of his last acts on earth would be a witness to the Lord
he loved and served and a lasting example of true heroism.
-- Author Unknown; Selected from E-Mail Ministry.org.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
