Today's Tickles!

"Pastor's Bloopers"

A prominent lawyer who happened to be a member of our church was called on by the preacher to offer a prayer before the service. As the attorney started on a special plea, he began, "Your Honor," instead of "Dear God." Actually, it sounded sort of appropriate.

I was trying to make a point that lack of communication is the major cause of divorce, but somehow things got mixed up and I said "marriage is the main cause of divorce." It took a couple of minutes of giggling from the congregation before I realized my mistake.

Preaching from:

Matthew 5: "A hill set on a city cannot be hid."

Matthew 12: "as Jonah was in the welly of the bail."

Matthew 2: "they offered unto him gifts, gold, and Frankenstein."
(Could I have used this for a Halloween Service?)

During a Confirmation service, referring to the new converts, the pastor asked the 5 new "convicts" to come to the front of the church. He never knew what he said, but several people had to leave the building because they were laughing so hard.

As I awoke during a sermon the pastor said, "Where the Scriptures speak, we speak. Where the scriptures are silent, we sleep."

While studying the intricate dress of the priests in the Old Testament, the preacher came to the part that describes how the priests put bells on the bottom of their robes. He asked, "Why do you suppose the priests had to tinkle." After a second of silence, the class broke up with laughter.

If you have a "Pastor Blooper" you would like to share with the Sermon Fodder List, please send it along to ktodd@vci.net with "Pastor Blooper" in the subject line.

--selected from SermonFodder newsletter.

--Adapted from Trinity New Life Fellowship/Church Humor.

"A Free Sample"

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him (Ps. 34:8)."p> Sometimes I simply crave ice cream. I hunger for something new and different and being too stingy to risk buying a whole carton with the possibility I may not like the flavor, I head for the nearest Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Shop.

A rainbow of color and the sweet fragrance of 33 delicious flavors assault the senses. The smiling clerk reaches for a tiny pink spoon as I am invited to try a free sample.

Staring at the labels, I seize the opportunity to taste and see what extraordinary delights lie beyond the traditional but trusted vanilla. With so many to choose from I could sample a different flavor every day for a month and never try the same one twice.

God offers us a free sample of His glory that is found only when we enter into His holy presence. The flavor of the manifestations of His presence is unlimited. His Word tells of His desire to give His children every good gift. What could be sweeter than craving His presence, anticipating that no two experiences will be the same but all will be a gift from the Father.

Sweet are your words to my taste and sweeter still the glory of your presence.

Written by Ginny Thomason, July, 2001.

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