We do not have a happy report to give, as we have not been able to find a
suitable candidate for Pastor of this Church, though we have one promising
prospect. We appreciate all the suggestions from the Church Members so
we've followed up each one with interviews or calling at least
3 references. The following is our confidential report on the candidates:
01)- ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of
how he and his wife enjoy walking nude in the woods.
02)- NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with no converts. Prone to
unrealistic building projects.
03)- ABRAHAM: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem
to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his
own wife with another man.
04)- JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting
and has a prison record.
05)- MOSES: A modest meek man, but poor communicator, stuttering at times.
Some times blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier
Church over a murder charge.
06)- DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered he had an
affair with his neighbor's wife.
07)- SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those
wives.
08)- ELIJAH: Prone to depression - collapses under pressure.
09)- ELISHA: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former
Church.
10)- HOSEA: A tender loving pastor but our people could never handle his
wife's occupation.
11)- DEBORAH: Female.
12)- JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting
things, and reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the
bank of a foreign river.
13)- ISAIAH: On the fringe? Claims to have seen Angels in Church. Has
trouble with his language.
14)- JONAH: Refused GOD'S call into ministry until he was forced to obey by
getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out
on the shore near here. We hung up.
15)- AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he
might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people -- might fit in
better with a poor congregation.
16)- JOHN: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn't dress like one.Has
slept in the outdoors for months on end, has weird diet, and provokes
denominational leaders.
17)- PETER: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper -- even has been known to
curse. Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch. Aggressive, but a loose
cannon.
18)- PAUL: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher; however, short on tact, unforgiving with young ministers, harsh and has been
known to preach all night.
19)- TIMOTHY: Too young.
20)- YAHSHUA: Has had popular times, but once when his Church grew to
5,000 he managed to offend them all and his Church dwindled down to
12 people. Seldom stays in one place very long. And of course, he's single.
21)- JUDAS: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good
connections. Knows how to handle money. We're inviting him to preach this
Sunday. Possibilities here.
--Author unknown; found circulating the Net via email.
Recently, I overheard a father & daughter in their last moments
together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near
the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you
enough."
She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your
love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They
kissed and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I
could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his
privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye
to someone knowing it would be forever???"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of
expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me.
Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him
face to
face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was
experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye," I asked.
"I am old, and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead,
and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral," he
said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say 'I wish you enough.'"
"May I ask what that means???"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from
other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused
for a moment, and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail,
he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were
wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good
things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me, he
shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you
enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness
to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the
smallest joys in life
appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish
you enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye."
He then began to sob and walked away.
Dear God@Work readers, we wish you ENOUGH this day through the love
and grace found in Christ Jesus!!!!!
Selected from God@Work newsletter. God@Work is a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A.
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A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
