Everybody has a good excuse for not attending church. If you take those excuses and apply them to other things we do (or don't do), like eating, they might look like this list:
1. I was forced to eat as a child.
2. People who eat all the time are hypocrites; they aren't really hungry.
3. There are so many different kinds of food, I can't decide what to eat.
4. I used to eat, but I got bored and stopped.
5. I only eat on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
6. None of my friends will eat with me.
7. I'll start eating when I get older.
8. I don't really have time to eat.
9. I don't believe that eating does anybody any good. It's just a crutch.
10. Restaurants and grocery stores are only after your money.
--From Sunday Funnies, Net153.com.
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units
manufactured,regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect
in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and
Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all
subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed,
'Subsequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as
S-I-N, as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgment.
Some other symptoms:
(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish, or violent, behavior
(f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
(g) Fearful
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is
providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to
correct this SIN defect. The number to call for the recall station in
your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected please upload your
burden of SIN by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download
J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN defect
is, the JESUS repair will replace it with:
(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Longsuffering
(e) Gentleness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faith
(h) Meekness
(i) Temperance
Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on
the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without
correction, voids the Manufacturer' warranty, exposing owner to
dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the
human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S.
DANGER: The human units not answering this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace.
This Action was Authorized by: "The Creator"
--Selected from Barbara's Entourages "Mantle"
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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