One day, Joe, Bob and Dave were hiking in a wilderness
area when they came upon a large, raging, violent
river. They needed to get to the other side, but had
no idea of how to do so.
Joe prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the
strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he
was able to swim across the river in about two hours,
although he almost drowned a couple of times.
Seeing this, Dave prayed to God, saying, "Please God,
give me the strength and the tools to cross this
river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row
across the river in about an hour, after almost
capsizing the boat a couple of times.
Bob had seen how this worked out for the other two, so
he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the
strength and the tools, and the intelligence, to cross
this river."
Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the
map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then
walked across the bridge.
--Author unknown - found circulating the Web.
"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace
the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of
things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think
because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't
have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk.
He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."
"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful
lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things,
pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the
radio or TV because of this. Because He hears everything, there must
be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a
way to turn it off."
"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which
keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going
over your Mom and Dad's head asking for something they said you
couldn't have."
"Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there
are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our
church."
"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking
on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who
didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him
preaching to them and they crucified Him. But He was good and kind,
like His Father and He told His Father that they didn't know what
they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."
"His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all His
hard work on earth so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the
road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps
His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are
important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of
Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more
important."
"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because
they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."
"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God
happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God.
Don't skip church or do something you think will be more fun like
going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come
out at the beach until noon anyway."
"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be
very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like
to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're
scared in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into
real deep water by big kids."
"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I
figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases.
And...that's why I believe in God."
--Source: Mikey's Funnies.
--Additional info: Snopes: God Defined.
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Remember, there's nothing that can happen today
that you and your Lord together cannot handle!
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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