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Credit for digital music: "Come Fill My Heart" by Elton Smith, Larry Holder and Steve Israel/Songs of Praise)
It's Time for Tickles 'n Truth A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature
"Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
NOTE: Humor pieces are meant to be funny. No offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves, so please just laugh along with us!
IF I WERE SANTA, I'D -
If I were a rockin' Santa,
You know what I'd do?
I'd dump the silly gifts
That are given to you.
I'd deliver some things
Just inside your front door --
Things you have lost,
But treasured before.
I'd give you back all
Your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it,
A neat, tiny figure;
Then restore the old color
That once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches
Took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape
With which you were gifted,
So things now suspended
Need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy
And smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream
In those tight fitting slacks!
I'd remove all your wrinkles
And leave only one chin,
So you wouldn't spend hours
Rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes
Or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises
Like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet,
And no corns on your toes
No searching for spectacles
When they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take
In your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks
You're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache,
So no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed
Since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa,
You'd never look stupid.
You'd be a cute little chick
With the romance of a cupid.
I'd give a lift to your heart
When those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart
Would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa.
I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons
You ever did see.
I wish I could tell you
All the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's
For an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older
This wish is sincere:
Merry Christmas to you!
And a Happy New Year!
--Author Unknown
The whole family was excited. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That was the day they always put up their Christmas decorations. Everyone knew what their specific job was. Dad and Tommy put up the outdoor decorations. Mom put up the tree and wrapped all of the presents, and Heather did the rest of the indoor decorating. They all started early because this was a time consuming job.When they stopped for lunch dad had the lights halfway around the house, which was good, but he still had to finish putting the blinking lights on the bushes and put up the yard displays. Also, he had to put Santa and his reindeer up on the roof.
Mom was almost finished putting the ornaments on the tree. As far as she was concerned, all she had left was to put the icicles on it and spray it with snow. She could hardly wait until she finished, because she could get all of the presents out of the bedroom closet and start wrapping them. She sure hoped the kids would like all of the video games, computer software, and designer clothes she had gotten them, and that dad liked all of his new tools and hunting and fishing gear. After all, these things are not cheap. It is a good thing she had all of those credit cards.
She had to wrap presents for all of their other friends and relatives, too. She sure hoped everyone spent as much on her family as she had on theirs, and that they got them something they would like.
Heather was coming along well with her decorating, too. She had the house all decorated with Santa's, elves, reindeer, candy canes, stockings and other Christmas items, but she had several boxes left, and she was rapidly filling up all of the available space.
By late afternoon, everything appeared to be complete. Dad and Tommy had all of the decorations up and all of the lights were working. Mom had everything wrapped and under the tree, and there was hardly anywhere to walk. Now, all that remained was putting the empty boxes that stored the decorations back in the attic until it was time to put everything away for another year.
When they started to put the boxes up, they found one box that was still full. When they opened it, they found a nativity scene. There was Jesus, Mary and Joseph, shepherds, wise men, and animals. They tried to find a place for them, but after looking around they decided they had no room left for it.
They felt bad about it, but they were just out of room. They must have spent five minutes trying to figure out what to do. Then, someone came up with the idea to make sure they included the Jesus decorations next year, but they were afraid they would forget, so they taped a big note on the top of the box - JESUS, NEXT YEAR. Then, they all felt better.
Do you put Jesus away in the attic until it is convenient to take him out and display him in your life? Do you give him time in your life after everything else is over and done with, or do you live each day of your life for him and trumpet to the world that he is your Lord and Savior?
-- Author Unknown
--Selected from E-Mail Ministry.org.
For more daily humor:
Reverend Fun--A fun Christian cartoon of the day!
Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List--a daily email humor list
Remember, there's nothing that can happen today
that you and your Lord together cannot handle!
Please
e-mail me to say hi.
All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
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Note: As of 11/30/15, sites will no longer be checked for dead links. Please contact owner at peggiesplace.com due to tremendous amount of links.
This Christian home has been visited a zillion times
since December 26, 1995!
Well, not quite, but there HAS been a houseful--and
STILL room for one more--YOU!
The Christian Counter scans the entire site--and there's plenty of chocolate for everyone--so enjoy!
Most of the music playing at Peggie's Place originates from Songs of Praise.
Additional (previously named) original source for some midis: Gilberto Barreto.
Visit this great Web site to hear beautiful tunes by many talented artists. CDs are available.
5*-places to visit at Peggie's Place: Tickles 'n Truth . . . The Devotional Buffet
All the rooms at Peggie's Place!
All Scriptures on this website, including all applications, etc., are from the King James Version of The Holy Bible, public domain, unless otherwise noted.
Please note that while I strongly adhere to major tenets of the evangelical Christian faith, I may not personally agree with every specific doctrinal belief set forth in other Christian pages.
A safety tip: Internet links and material may include other links and/or material which do not reflect my views or yours, Christian or otherwise. Please choose wisely and use with discretion! And if you find an ugly spider hiding in a dark corner, you may smash it with a broom--I hate offensive stuff too!
Copyright 1996-2016 by Peggie C. Bohanon, Springfield, MO. - pbohanon@peggiesplace.com. - All rights reserved.