"Diet Prayer"

Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
but at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujubees.

And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe--size 30 long.

I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise
potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.

Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

--Selected from Pastor Tim's PearlyGates newsletter.

"God's Appointments"

"Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass" (Psalm 37:5, NKJV).

Late one evening a professor sat at his desk working on the next day's lectures. He shuffled through the papers and mail placed there by his housekeeper. He began to throw them in the wastebasket when one magazine--not even addressed to him but delivered to his office by mistake--fell open to an article titled, "The Needs of the Congo Mission."

The professor began reading it idly, but then was consumed by these words: "The need is great here. We have no one to work the northern province of Gabon in the central Congo. And it is my prayer as I write this article that God will lay His hand on one--one on whom, already, the Master's eyes have been cast--that he or she shall be called to this place to help us." The professor closed the magazine and wrote in his diary: "My search is over."1

He gave himself to the Congo. His name? Albert Schweitzer!

If you know about the marvelous missionary service done by Albert Schweitzer, you will realize that it was no accident that this magazine was delivered to Schweitzer's mailbox "by mistake" and then fell open at the article, "The Needs of the Congo Mission," as he was about to throw it in the trash.

Over and over again each of us who are committed to following Christ in our daily life can also testify to God's appointments in our life. And as we look back over the past, we can trace the footprints of God leading and guiding every step of the way. And they will keep doing so until the end of life's journey and we meet Jesus face to face and hear his, "Welcome home, good and faithful servant."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that my life is in your hands, and that you lead and guide me every step of the way when I daily commit and trust my life and way to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

<:))))><<

1. Leadership, Vol. 12 No. 3.

--Article selected from Daily Encounter (c) Dick Innes 2002. Subscribe here.

Feel like pokin' around Peggie's Place?
START HERE or skip straight to the ROOMS!.
Have fun--and should you get lost, scroll to the end of a page for a directory.

The Devotional Buffet--for over 500 archived devos at Peggie's Place!

+ + + + + + +

For more humor, visit The Fun Room at Peggie's Place!
For more inspiration, visit The Prayer 'n Praise Room at Peggie's Place!

For more daily humor:
Reverend Fun--A fun Christian cartoon of the day!
Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List--a daily email humor list

Thanks for coming! God bless--and see you tomorrow!

Remember, there's nothing that can happen today
that you and your Lord together cannot handle!

Please e-mail me to say hi.

All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.

Peggie's blog, "Fun 'n Faith for the Soul" is no longer available.

F O O T E R

See Search Engine Submission - AddMe

Note: As of 11/30/15, sites will no longer be checked for dead links. Please contact owner at peggiesplace.com due to tremendous amount of links.

Celebrating God's goodness . . . . . . 16 million and more!