"God created the mule, and told him, 'You will be Mule, working constantly
from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass
and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered:
'To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than
20.' And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, 'You will be Dog, and hold
vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest
companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years. And the
dog responded, 'Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no
more than 10 years.' And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, 'You are Monkey, and you shall
swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you
shall live for 20 years. And the monkey responded, 'Lord, to live 20 years
as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than
10 years.' And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, 'You are Man, the only rational
being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery
over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for
20 years.' And the man responded, 'Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is
too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15
years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected.' And it was
so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20
years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he
is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and
eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to
live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren."
--Author unknown; Selected from Barb's Entourages Mantle.
An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover
holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination
inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians
and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them
to celebrate.
The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the
downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.
The case was brought up before a learned judge who after listening to the
passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, promptly banged his
gavel and said "Case dismissed!"
The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said "Your honor,
how can you dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter
and many other observances. And the Jews--why in addition to Passover they
have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah.....and yet my client and all other atheists
have no such holiday!"
The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is
too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheists
holiday!"
The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for
atheists--just when might that be?"
The judge said "Well it comes every year at the same time---April 1st"!
"The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.'"
- Psalm 53:1, Psalm 14:1
--Pastor Tim's Illustrations.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
