8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our recommended daily cholesterol intake. All the more ingenious, then, that the label on this product helpfully features a recipe for brains and scrambled eggs.
5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet Sue Kitchens, Inc.): From its size (think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall appearance (it's stewed in a quivering mass of aspic goop), this product may change forever your idea of what constitutes a chicken. Gives new meaning to the old line about meat "falling off the bone."
4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery): You may think musk is a scent, but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor. A candy flavor that tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise. But what did you expect from a country where everyone happily consumes Vegemite?
3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently discontinued by Bar Food Products): Possibly the world's most bizarre prepackaged tavern snack. Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't actually blind, he's blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to avoid looking at these heavily salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs.
2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy): This Finnish canned good may not be particularly tasty, but at least it answers the age-old question of why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on Santa's sleigh team -- he didn't want to end up a cracker spread.
1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing you've ever consumed can prepare you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product does score a sort of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's always found raw clams too slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried, shriveled mollusks will help you dislike clams on a whole new level.
--Selected from
Mikey's Funnies.
Once upon a time...there was a rich King who had four wives.
He loved the fourth wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and
treated her to the finest of delicacies.
He gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the third wife very much, and he was always showing her off to
neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him
for another.
He also loved his second wife. She was his confidante and was always kind,
considerate, and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he
could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times.
The King's first wife was a very loyal partner and had made great
contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom.
However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply,
he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the King fell ill, and he knew his time was short.
He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have four wives with
me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.
Thus, he asked the fourth wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with
the finest clothing, and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying,
will you follow me and keep me company?" "Absolutely not!" replied the
fourth wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like
a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the third wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now
that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No," replied the
third wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His
heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the second wife, "I have always turned to you for help, and
you've always been there for me.
When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't
help you out this time," replied the second wife.
"At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." Her answer came like
a bolt of thunder, and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out. "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter
where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was so
sad and thin, she looked half-starved. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I
should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have four wives in our lives: Our fourth wife is our body.
No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll
leave us when we die.
Our third wife is our possessions, status, and wealth. When we die, it will
all go to others.
Our second wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have
been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
And our first wife is our soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power,
and pleasures of the ego.
However, our soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.
So cultivate, strengthen, and cherish it now! It IS your greatest gift to
offer the world.
--Selected from Pastor Tim's Illustrations List.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
