God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway The good
fortune to run into the ones that I do, And - the eyesight to tell the
difference.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered . . .
ONE ......I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO......My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE.....I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
FOUR......Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
FIVE .....All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
SIX........If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN......It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT.......I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
NINE........It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
TEN.....Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the
bathroom.
ELEVEN........If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my
knees.
TWELVE..When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to
play chess?
THIRTEEN.......It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
FOURTEEN.......The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
FIFTEEN.......These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder "what I'm here
after?"
--Author unknown.
Dear Lord, I thank You for this day.
I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.
I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You
have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for I have sinned.
I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can
hear from You.
Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.
Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil.
And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrong doing and
receive the forgiveness of God.
And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to
slip away and find a quiet place to pray.
It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Thy Will.
Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.
Keep me strong that I may help the weak and unsaved.
Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way.
I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood.
I pray for those who don't know You intimately.
I pray for those that will delete this [email] without sharing it with others.
I pray for those that don't believe.
(But) I thank you that I believe.
I believe that God changes people and God changes things.
I pray for all my sisters and brothers.
For each and every family member in their households.
I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes, that they are out of debt &
all their needs are met.
I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem,
circumstance, or situation greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees
them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.
This is my prayer.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
- Author Unknown. Message distributed by email.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
