"It's about 90% strength and 40% technique."
~ Johnny Walker, world middleweight wrist-wrestling champion, on what it takes to be a champ
"If I wasn't talking, I wouldn't know what to say."
~ Chico Resch, New York Islanders goaltender
"We have only one person to blame, and that's each other."
~ Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a brawl during the National Hockey League's Stanley Cup playoffs
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
~ Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
"He fakes a bluff."
~ Ron Fairly, Giants broadcast announcer
"It could permanently hurt a batter for a long time."
~ Pete Rose, Cincinnati Red, speaking about a brushback pitch
"Fans, don't fail to miss tomorrow's game."
~ Dizzy Dean, baseball great turned sports announcer
"Me and George and Billy are two of a kind."
~ Mickey Rivers, Texas Rangers outfielder, on his warm relationship with Yankee owner Steinbrenner and manager Billy Martin
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
~ Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres."
~ Jerry Coleman, Padres broadcast announcer, attempting to tell radio listeners about a fly ball hit by a member of the opposing team
"His reputation preceded him before he got here."
~ Don Mattingly, New York Yankee, on Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden
"Even Napoleon had his Watergate."
~ Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager, commenting on the team's ten-game losing streak
"We are experiencing audio technicalities."
~ Ralph Kiner, announcer for the New York Mets
"Folks, this is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air."
~ Curt Gowdy, network sports announcer, on air
"I don't want to tell you any half-truths unless they're completely accurate."
~ Dennis Rappaport, boxing manager, explaining his silence regarding boxer Thomas Hearns
"A lot of people my age are dead at the present time."
~ Casey Stengel, baseball great, Yankees and Mets manager
"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
~ Leon Wood, New Jersey Nets guard, to Steve Albert, Nets TV commentator
"And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is that Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter, Kansas City leads in the eighth, 4 to 4."
~ Jerry Coleman, Padres announcer, going through the scoreboard on air.
"Today is Father's Day, so everyone out there: Happy birthday!"
~ Ralph Kiner, announcer for the New York Mets
"All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion."
~ Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher, commenting on press reports quoting him as criticizing team managers for trading top players
"They throw Winfield out at second and he's safe."
~ Jerry Coleman, Padres broadcast announcer
"Formation drowning."
~ Alan Parry referring to synchronized swimming
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
~ Yogi Berra
"I'm wearing these gloves for my hands."
~ Yogi Berra, when asked why he was wearing gloves
"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and if he was poor, I'd return it."
~ Yogi Berra, answering Casey Stengel's question "What would you do if you found a million dollars?"
"I don't know. I'm not in shape yet."
~ Yogi Berra, when asked his cap size
"The similarities between me and my father are different."
~ Dale Berra, Yogi Berra's son
--Author unknown. Selected from Mikey's Funnies.
As the soot and dirt and ash rained down, we became one color.
As we carried each other down the stairs of the burning building, we
became one class.
As we lit candles of waiting and hope, we became one generation.
As the firefighters and police officers fought their way into the inferno, we
became one gender.
As we fell to our knees in prayer for strength, we became one faith.
As we whispered or shouted words of encouragement, we spoke one
language.
As we gave our blood in lines a mile long, we became one body.
As we mourned together the great loss, we became one family.
As we cried tears of grief and loss, we became one soul.
As we retell with pride of the sacrifice of heroes, we become one
people.
We are
One color
One class
One generation
One gender
One faith
One language
One body
One family
One soul
One people
We are The Power of One.
We are United.
We are America.
"Peace on Earth; good will toward men."
It's not just for Christmas anymore.
--Author unknown. Found circulating the Web.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
